Neither a Borrower nor a Lender Be
by Little White Bird
Summary: I was challenged to write HamletShylock slash, and did. Sorry. I surprised myself by quite liking the way it turned out.


ONE

"I'm not profligate," said the student. "But books cost so much these days, and because my folks are known to be… well… quite well off, it's difficult for me not to be generous to my friends."

The moneylender had heard it all before. "How much, for how long?"

"200 thalers for a month. Then my father will send me another term's allowance."

"On what security?"

"Whatever you will. My horse, my sword, my clothing – even my library! Sir, there are rumours that you once asked a merchant of Venice for a pound of flesh as security. If you ask the same of me, I will not deny it, so sure am I of repaying you on time."

"A pound of flesh, eh? Nay, boy. In thy case I will content myself with borrowing a few inches for the night."

TWO

"…and so I don't know what to do, Horatio. I have sent word to my father that the post was robbed and I have no doubt that he will send me more at once, but it will be too late."

"You do understand what he meant by 'borrowing a few inches for the night', don't you, Hamlet?"

"Right. And men enjoy that, do they?"

"I… am told so." Horatio had turned bright red.

"Oh well, I suppose there's nothing for it but to pay the fellow his 'few inches'. At least he doesn't intend to cut anything off."

"But you can't! I mean it's… you know. Immoral. Disgusting. And with a Jew! A filthy Jew!"

"He isn't particularly filthy, that I noticed. It might be interesting."

"But… I mean… If I'd known you were inclined to… I'm sure there are other men who…"

"Don't be silly, Horatio. I don't owe any other men 200 thalers, do I?"

THREE

"What happened?"

"Isn't it obvious what happened?" the moneylender wanted to say. "My windows broken, my furniture set on fire, my safe smashed, my jewels and money gone, crude symbols daubed on my walls, and me lying here on the floor covered in blood and vomit and god knows what else, bruised and broken while you stand over me and crow." But his head was too foggy, and his teeth were broken, and his mouth was full of blood, so instead he snarled at the intruder and spat a great gobbet of bloody phlegm at his feet.

"Your arm is broken. There is a bonesetter not three streets away from here. Shall I go and…"

"No bonesetter."

"Why?"

"He hates Jews."

"Oh. Well what do Jews do when they break their arms then?"

"Jewish bonesetter."

"Where does he live?"

"No good. Not Jew enough for him. They made me… they… baptised."

And then he fainted.

FOUR

When the moneylender awoke he was lying on a mattress in clean clothes with a splint on his broken arm. The beautiful northern boy who owed him money was sorting through the smashed ruins of his furniture and possessions.

"Get off! Nothing left to steal."

"Oh, you're awake. I wasn't trying to steal, just to salvage the things that might still be useable. There's quite a bit. I found some soup in the larder. Would you like some soup? I could heat it up."

"No. Leave me alone."

"I have a friend who studies law. I could ask him to come here. Do you know who did this to you? They must be brought to justice."

"No. Don't interfere. Mayor's son and friends. If I tried to do anything… just more trouble."

"You mean that people can get away with… with _this_ just because they have powerful parents? That's appalling. It shouldn't work like that. There are laws to make sure it doesn't work like that. Surely?"

The moneylender laughed a horrible wheezing laugh. "Stupid boy."

"Is there nothing I can do for you?" The student sat on the moneylender's bed, overcome with compassion.

"You can repay your debt, then leave me alone. 200 thalers at 15 percent. 230 thalers."

"Give me another day. The post was robbed – I will have to sell something. I can give it you tomorrow."

"Ah, no, pretty boy. Today I said, and today it shall be. If you cannot give me the money, then you give me your body. We agreed."

"But that's absurd! You need the money, and in your state… I mean, surely you need time to recover before you even think about… you know."

"I have many needs, boy. And it is for me to decide which I put first."

FIVE

"…so he begged me to stay for the night because he was afraid and wanted company. I wept for him, Horatio. And I held him in my arms."

"Right."

"And when I woke up, he was gone. And so was my purse. And the gold ring that mother gave me last year. And my sword. And my doublet."

"Hamlet!"

"I don't begrudge him them, Horatio. His need is far greater than mine. He couldn't stay in Wittenburg – he was afraid for his life, and he had nothing. Please do not speak ill of him. Change the subject."

"So. Did you enjoy it when you… you know."

"Enjoy it? Yes, I suppose I did, in a way."

"Because I was thinking. If it ever happened again that you…"

"Oh no, Horatio. It'll never happen again. From now on I'm taking heed of Polonius's advice: neither a borrower nor a lender be."


End file.
